Ever struggle with accepting yourself? The times self-acceptance can most arise as a challenge is in the face of judgement, rejection or abandonment. When you’re wanting someone else to accept you it’s an opportunity to look within and found deeper acceptance of and from yourself.
Without self-acceptance outer acceptance is meaningless. Even if you attain it you won’t genuinely experience it or receive fulfilment from it; you can’t experience what you don’t give to and own for yourself.
When you don’t accept yourself you may not only repress, deny and push away parts of yourself, you may attempt to adapt yourself to attain external acceptance, which has a counter effect on both self and other acceptance. How can you be accepted for you if you are not being you? And if you don’t accept yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?
One aspect of any people-pleasing impulse can come from a desire for outer acceptance, reflecting a lack of self-acceptance. The more needy you feel for outer acceptance, the more disconnected you will be from your own, and to your self-value and a sense of self per se.
If you lose your centre and compromise yourself when seeking outer acceptance you may twist, edit, contort, morph or divorce yourself from who you are to fit some imaginary mould of who you think you should be in the eyes of something external. Self-acceptance, as with self-esteem, comes from within. No amount of approval or validation ‘out there’ will ever give it to you. You can though.
Accept yourself ~ just as you are ~ right now.
The healing balm of acceptance embraces all aspects of yourself without judgement. You’re human. You hold the capacity for the full gamut of human thoughts, feelings and experiences. It is all essentially energy that can be accepted (as well as transformed). Acceptance isn’t the same as condoning, it is about being all-embracing, non-judging, and being open to understanding.
Understanding everything as energy, including beliefs, thoughts and feelings, can help you move beyond black-white/right-wrong perspectives.
Every part of you will exist for some reason.
Bring acceptance and compassion to the All of you.
We are all different at a personality level. We have countless aspects, quirks, idiosyncrasies, strengths, weaknesses, and light and shadow sides. There are reasons for whatever those are, and there can be gifts connected with them, or buried beneath them.
Your ‘flaws’ may be doors to gifts and strengths you may yet know are yours.
We are also all very much the same, experiencing reaches of the vast expanse and commonalities of our humanness. Your essential self is beyond any personality self, beliefs, attitudes, thoughts, feelings, experiences or behaviours. This ‘you beyond you’, the Higher Self, exists beyond the conditioned mind and limited perspectives of your conscious programming.
What you believe yourself to be, expect yourself to be, judge yourself to be or not be, feel you need to be or should be, can be linked with shame.
In a desire to be accepted do you ever alter or hide aspects of who you are? Do you ever become chameleon-like to fit in with a given person, group, environment or situation? Underneath neediness for outer acceptance can lie fears, including the fear of rejection, abandonment, loss, separation, judgement, humiliation, ostracisation and not belonging. It can be a natural part of human nature to adapt and adjust to connect and build rapport. That can become unhealthy, however, if you lose your sense of self, people-please in-authentically, slide from your truth, or reject yourself in some way.
The more you accept yourself, the more you can authentically be yourself. The less it will also then matter who does or doesn’t accept you externally. Plus the more accepting you are of you, the more accepting you’ll be of others too.
You are totally acceptable just as you are right now,
and the only person who needs to accept you is you.
Self-acceptance is an ongoing journey, and there may be parts of you that don’t accept you, such as your inner critic. You can accept the parts of you that don’t accept you, and you can accept yourself for not accepting yourself!
There is an unconditional love and acceptance ever there for you; a divine encompass from the loving presence of creation that exists within you; an embrace that accepts and welcomes you in entirety, one of boundless eternal love that meets every part of you with the truth of that love.
You can surrender to that love and let that love melt the shackles of self-judgement and shrouds of shame. All potential exists within you, light and dark. You are already whole.
Whatever aspect of your entirety you are currently experiencing,
the wonder of it All and of all of you is already existing.
You are all you could ever wish to be,
because all that you are, and are becoming, exists within you, already.