Shame OFF You!
The only thing wrong with you is ever thinking there’s anything wrong with you.
A lack of self-worth, guilt, shame and negative self-beliefs (“I’m wrong/bad/not good enough/unloveable…”) can stand in the way of you owning and experiencing the love and truth of your being (they certainly have with me).
Believing that you are inherently wrong or that there is something wrong with you might not be a conscious experience. It could be repressed, hidden, covered over, compensated for even, and manifest in any number of ways.
Growing up there were times I felt like I had a dark cloud hanging over me; an invisible cloak of shame and unworthiness that shrouded my perception of myself and reality. It was painful and debilitating to live life through this distorted lens, which effected how I related to and experienced myself, others, and the world. I didn’t consciously think in specific ways of what was wrong with me, yet the feeling that something was pervaded my being, arising from a core belief. Our feelings can point to our unconscious self-concepts.
Discovering you are innately, unconditionally and eternally worthy can be extremely healing and transformational of this shame. For me this is an ongoing journey – I’ve experienced other waves of shame in more recent years that I’m now working on healing.
Your worth is an undiminishable given. It never needs earning or proving, it only ever needs owning. It exists, period. Doubting your worthiness is like doubting your existence. Your worth will never be sourced from anything in your outer reality. You are worthy of all your heart desires just as you are right now. You don’t have to change and be something or someone other to be enough and deserving.
Your worth has nothing to do with anything outside of you.
Whatever you believe yourself to be, whatever your experiences within or without, whatever your darkest shadows, the truth of who you are is wholly innocent. You may feel ashamed of things you believe are ‘negative’ about yourself, things you’ve done, thought, felt or experienced, or even physical things about your circumstances, body, health, and so on.
You may also feel shame for no reason at all, or at least no consciously known or obvious one, because you believe there is something wrong with you and hold negative self-concepts. This ‘shame of being’ can stem from buried negative beliefs formed during childhood and experiences and messages you received about who you are, your worth, value, and loveability.
It is also possible to feel shame about ‘positive’ qualities or attributes if those have been judged, ridiculed, criticized, wronged or condemned. Perhaps you were told growing up that you were too ‘this’ or ‘that’. Perhaps certain attributes or qualities weren’t or aren’t accepted or understood by your family/community/culture/peers/environment. Perhaps you do not accept parts of yourself.
Every part of you will exist for some reason. Bring acceptance and compassion to the All of you.
Shame can get passed on through judgement, blame, anger and abuse in family, relationships and communities, scapegoating being one example. This passing on of shame can create a shame-train chain of shame dumps. Self-love can help to heal shame sockets you carry that people might otherwise attempt to plug their shame into. The more you love yourself, the more non-stick you become to other people’s shame dumps.
I’m learning to love myself in expanded ways to transform my reality.